my daddy
my dad is sick. he’s over 70 and is fighting heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. now, he’s fighting something else. it’s a nameless something else and that’s what’s scary. the symptoms are scary. waiting is scary.
my mom says he saw the doctor today and they sent him home after a battery of tests with antibiotics and a pain killer…and the wait begins for the test results.
i worry about my folks. can’t help it. there’s already a lot of change in my life, most of it good…i just figured my folks would be the stable part until all the change was done…and here they are, part of the change. the stable part moving around on me…and it’s scary. facing mortality is scary.
my brain wars with my heart for dominance when i know i need to be on my knees before the throne of Grace–praying for…what? God’s will? and what is that? how will know what is God’s will and what is mine? praying for acceptance of what? how not to cross the line of fatalistic thinking…resignation.
how to walk in faith. and ignore the lions roaring on every side. a pilgrim’s progress, this life is…and i’m reminded of it daily.