thank you, sweet.
i have never cried over a christmas present…not once, to my memory’s recall. i have enjoyed many wonderful gifts, REALLY gotten excited over some, but i have never been so touched by a gift that i was unable to speak and all my emotions leaked out my eyes.
not till this year.
among all the wonderful gifts family and loved ones gave me (got a cool hat from matthew), this one surprised me with my response. warren (BFG aka my fiance) had told me months and months ago that a certain poem i’d written (‘dream gray’) had touched a chord in him, resonated…and he wanted to illustrate it some day.
no one had ever said they thought so much of my writing that they wanted to illustrate it. i was immediately curious as to how he would do it, what it would look like, images he would pick. but those thoughts eventually faded away as real life intervened and schedules focused my vision elsewhere.
but he didn’t forget.
this year, i got a beautifully illustrated framed piece with my poem printed on it…i got it while in the midst of scrambling between two households in the rush of christmas. i got it while holding another half-opened package in my hand. while sitting indian-legged in a flurry of tissue paper. while everyone around me was in activity…and i couldn’t savor the moment.
the world stopped about the same time i realized what i was looking at. and i was reluctantly returned to the present of schedules and hurrying out the door. everybody wanted to see this private piece of me when i got home…and, though i wanted to share it, i wanted to share this private piece of my heart AFTER i’d had a chance to savor it–to luxuriate in the awe of the thought and care it took to produce this piece…not to have everyone’s fingerprints all over it before i’d had a chance to feel the edges of the frame, and take in every square inch of the texture of the canvas, see the movement of the piece…
snatching moments with it is what i did for the rest of the night. and every single time, my throat would close up as i read it. the poem is about the challenge of commitment. given what warren and i have been through, and what we’re about to embark on together, that means even more now.
the promise of fidelity intimated in this poem rings so solid in my heart now, that even as i write this, i can’t help but gasp at the strength of what i feel from him through this piece. and i struggle to keep my emotions from leaking out my eyes again. and again. and again. i haven’t had a moment to steal away with him and try to talk to him about this…the few seconds i did steal i was so overcome, i couldn’t talk. all i could do was stand there and hug him…
thank you, sweet. i delight in you.