complications
complications sounds like ‘complaining’ to me. as an adult, i sometimes use one word when i mean the other. i can’t explain it, because i do actually know the difference between the two.
this weekend, i decided that there must be an equation in my head between the two: complications=complaining.
and this weekend, i lived it out. my dad had cancer surgery thursday and all seemed ok…we got him home and let him rest. ungkl pol, ant natlee, BFG and myself and mom all collapsed from the emotional tension we’d been carrying around.
friday morning, everything was good. once we knew dad was on the mend (he was carrying on and telling jokes) BFG and i said our goodbyes and headed back home. once home, i think the rest of the day was spent sitting in stupor staring at the tv (which was off).
saturday, we finally got ourselves back together and began to pick up the house and make preparations for ivory and chris’ (stepdaughter and her husband) birthday party–on sunday.
i got a call from ungkl pol. there was a complication. my heart began to whine to God. dad was taken to the emergency room because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. God, can’t you fix this? he has clots and they’re really big. they’re too big to pass through the catheter. is this some kind of a sick joke? he’s uncomfortable.
i asked if i was needed at home. no…not yet. talked to my mom..she’s an emotional wreck. how come we can’t just have a surgery and be done with it?! and on and on it went.
i whined and griped at God over the discomfort my folks were going through and whined some more about the distraction i felt and argued with Him over this whole situation…
and came to the conclusion that He knows our days and our hearts and has them measured in His hand. To trust is to let the events of this world be in His control and expect that He is God. that He will be with us in uncertainties.